Carpe Diem

1.  Supervised teaching experience - to include journals, evaluation and continuing professional development guidelines - done!

2.  Assessment, evaluation and feedback - done!

I think I have earned a few drinks tonight...possibly even a few more as I have downloaded Angels and Demons and Tom Hanks is not how I saw the hero (?) in the books and just like in the Da Vinci Code, he may very well irk me to the point of sleep!  Don't think I have sat through the DVC without falling asleep.  A bit like Pulp Fiction really...can't watch that without nodding off either.  Oh and I've just noticed that the new Star Trek has downloaded as well...think I'll opt for that one instead!  You've just got to love torrents!!!!

So, that's my first year on my PGCE over and done with...halfway to being a teacher - woot!

Not that I'll get a job in the profession straight away (if at all, considering my age!!)...in which case, I might just consider doing my Masters instead!  Yeah, right...now where did I put that loose change of a couple of grand????

His Hippiness has done something diabolical to the printer and it is refusing to obey my commands!

The hippy is in a whole heap of trouble when he comes in from work.

It's not like I haven't got one or two assignments to print now is it???

The shed for him tonight I think...I shall hide the camper van keys - no luxury for him!  If I had a dog house he'd be in it!  The metaphore will just have to do.

Grrrrrrr 

Oh, he's just pulled in to the drive...Right, where's the frying pan???

...I thought I would carry on for a tad

Is it just me or can anyone else see these MP's expenses/allowances issues are a smoke screen?  You know, preventing them with getting on with the real business of running what's left of the country (admittedly probably into the ground but well...).

Now, I am what is commonly known as apolitical - just ask my friend Abe Unlimited - I am too apathetic to be an anarchist and too overweight to be an activist - however what I definitely am not is blind!

If the main political parties aren't careful, we'll have the BNP as MEP's and then where will we all be?  Course that is a bit of an oxymoron as allegedly they don't believe in Europe!

No longer are they swaggering around like something out of Clockwork Orange...no, no, these guys are walking around in suits and being very plausible in denial, their 3K white hoods neatly folded up as pocket handkerchiefs.

Look to your laurels (if you aren't too well fed from expensive restraunts on er...daily food allowances to see your backside) all you MP's out there, or summat nasty is going to creep up behind you to a Beethoven soundtrack, just ready to kick you in the head and drink a glass of milk to celebrate!

Mind you, if you see one drinking alcohol, do helpfully and sweetly remind them that we got pure alcohol from Islam, won't you and that the Swastika comes originally from India oh and that the original Aryan race were Persians?!  NOT that I want to see Sharia law here either by the way because that's just as insidious.  Britain is not a fascist or Islamic state - what it is is multicultural and vibrant because of it.

Diversity is what makes this world so interesting...let's appreciate and celebrate it and be nice to each other in the process.

....SPAM!!

I have just spent the last 20 minutes removing canned pork luncheon meat from my google mail account.  Now, I don't mind doing this (much!) but it goes straight into a spam folder which comes as standard.  So, if it's intelligent enough to know it's spam...why doesn't it just delete it for me and save me the hassle of doing it myself??  Hmm?

Out of curiosity and, in an effort to ensure that I haven't deleted anything from my students, I went through them most meticulously.  I had 398 spam messages and, when you think I was only in it yesterday...well, you can see why I'm a tad irritated!

So, I courageously went through them - 148 of them were from someone selling me Viagra...ah but, of those 148 no two names were identical - damn but there's a lot of Viagra out there!  Then, we move on to someone selling me degrees for AMERICAN Universities...what?  We then move swiftly on to FAKE, yes FAKE Rolex and Cartier watches...my watch cost six quid in a market and it works just fine thanks.  It's got as much bling as I need and I have no idea who made it...not that Cartier probably make their own anyways...they just shove in diamonds at mid/day/night, 3, 6 and 9 - but of course that's only if your really rich...otherwise I think you get it over the 'i' in Cartier or sumfink!  Dunno, never seen one, let alone worn one - be too scared of getting mugged...or worse!

Then, my credit rating...haven't got one...have no loans you see or credit cards either...effectively I do not exist except in cyberverse.  Fine by me.  Still, they want me to find out how I'm doing, who's checking up on me and why...well, no-one should be and why they would is beyond me.  Okay, the next ones were diet pills, again in vast quantities...I would ask what they were implying but no response is often the most apt reply.  In lesser quantities then were B & Q, Argos, Amazon and someone else whose name I forget.

Now, forgetting for just one moment that I am female, so the point of Viagra is completely lost on me; and forgetting for a moment that diet pills DON'T BLOODY WORK anyway; and then buying an online degree from a USA University - if I'd wanted one I'd have gone there and earned it; and forgetting that I am a tramp who is about as interested in designer anything (or crazy enough to want a facsimile thereof) as a bin bag and who therefore does not need loans and credit cards to purchase these designer/fake items, so need for credit checking...can I just ask this...WHY?????????????????  How do they get my email addresses and why do I only get spam on google????  Eh?  Can somebody please use these little nanobots for target practice?  If the bots on google know it's spam enough to put it in the appropriate folder, why can't the bloody thing just delete? Can I set up a forcefield that omits anything with the words viagra, oh - I forgot the penis englargement - damn, how could I forget something like that...I just remembered er...so yes the words viagra, penis, diet, degree, credit and watches.
Think it will work?

I say again, grrrrrrrrrr

...I am in!

I am currently suffering VERY recurring toothache.  I have had this toothache for seven years.  I have spent over a thousand pounds trying to find out what this toothache is all about.  Dentists the width of the country, including a six year incursion up north, are not in agreement on what is causing the pain.  I have had two perfectly good teeth removed in Colchester, whilst leaving the roots sticking up from my gums... they couldn't even pull it out AND I had to DRIVE (YES DRIVE, whilst off my FACE on anesthetic!!!) to another of their practices to try and remove the roots...plus four X-Rays.  Another two perfectly good teeth removed in Manchester also plus X-Rays...and, despite all this...I AM STILL IN LARGE AMOUNTS OF PAIN!!!

I cannot begin to describe it...but I shall try, just for the sake of clarity!!!

Ever had an injection so far up your cheek it feels like it's permeated your brain?  Well, times that by 4.  Ever had an injection in the roof of your mouth, that really scratchy feel?  Times that by 4.    Ever had an injection so far into your lower jaw, it feels as if you have swollen glands?  Ever suffered from overwhelming producuction of saliva...WITHOUT the benefit of real desire for a particular food?  Ever had an irresistible urge to smack your jaw so hard against a doorframe that broken jaw would be a relief?  Now, ever had a migraine?  Well, take it from your head, locate it in a specific area of your mouth...NOW your're getting it.

I wouldn't really mind if it hadn't been DENTISTS THAT CAUSED THE PAIN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I was perfectly fine until a checkup.  Then they diagnosed a problem.  They sorted it to the point where I was in pain.  Okay thought I naively...it will pass!  Two years later it got so bad I went back again.  Fine they said but we have spotted another problem.  Right says I...will it get rid of the pain?  OH YES, they assured me, like the Churchill Dog...it will make everything okay.  Fine says I, do please go ahead.  Have credit card...can get dental treatment.  Four years later, am still quaffing loads of pain killers, have lost four PERFECTLY good teeth and they STILL don't effing known what's wrong with my teeth.  X-rays have shown absolutely, precisely, effing nuffink.

So, what the effing hell is causing it...cos dental X-rays don't show it...I still have roots so long outside the gums that I use them instead of the PERFECTLY good teeth I lost.

Did I mention they were PERFECTLY good teeth at all?

I am currently going through a packet of painkillers a day.  I cannot go to a dentist as I no longer trust them.  I don't trust doctors any better either, as they nearly killed me and put me into a coma through ineptitude a long time ago.  In fact I haven't been to a doctor since 1984.  AT ALL!  Not even for a sick note.  Rather take a day off my annual leave than piss about with nonsense forms for being off sick!!!

The term general practitioner is EXACTLY what it says.  GP's know nothing specific and, if I have a problem I want a specialist.  Sorry...call me strange but hey...it's flattering.  Dentists, on the other hand, seem to get paid by the amount of work they do...so, if you have PERFECTLY good teeth, they don't get paid for you.

Did I mention they were PERFECTLY good teeth at all (again)?  They bloody well admitted they were...oh, yeah you're teeth are fine but we'll have to remove your gums!!!!!!!!!

Just thought I'd post something even though it's grumpy, painful, heartbroken (that's another post [perhaps] but possibly contributory to this one!!!!!) and just downright PISSED OFF on a Beaufort Scale of 10 for stupidity in trying to maintain healthy dental practice whilst in NO pain. Then getting toothache for my PAINS in my attempt to  be good FROM them 'cos I was doing the right thing AND as an added bonus COST me and gained those charlatans over a thousand pounds OF MY HARD EARNED CASH in the bloody process!!!

BASTARDS.

Apologies all...am in so much PAIN it's hard to be coherent but I'm sure you get my drift...

Tagging...lying bastard dentists.

Night all and may your gods be with you xxx

Taking a break from assignments...I shall copy and paste this into word later as for some reason I cannot write in word and paste onto here - a right pain that is I can tell ya!

Anyways,

So...Malory...Sir Thomas no less.  An obscure character...little known about him.  Suggestion he was Sir Thomas Malory of Newbold Revel in Warwickshire.  A man who lived at the time of the Wars of the Roses.  His book is all about the Knights of the Round Table and their adventures in seeking the Holy Grail.

Arthurian tales have come back to us via the French but originally and arguably from the Welsh Tales of the Four Branches of the Mabinogion, ably helped along by that most interesting man, Geoffrey of Monmouth...who, despite being a Churchman and of mixed Norman and Welsh descent, saw no problem in shying away from or embellishing the truth somewhat.  That's another story.  I mention the fact that he was a Norman purely out of academic curiosity.  Most of the Arthurian legends are credited to Chretien de Troyes, a Frenchman of the courts of Aquitaine.  He and Geoffrey lived at the same period...so did Geoffrey give Chretien ideas on Arthur or was it the other way around?  Anyway...

Malory's book tries to put together all the myths of Arthur into some semblence of order...this means he spoke French...as most sources on Arthur at that time - apart from Gawain and the Green Knight by the Pearl Poet - were in French.  Yet Thomas Malory is believed to have been a prisoner...possibly because he backed the wrong colour rose!...he was an alleged rapist, cattle thief, extortionist and vandal.  Hardly the sort of person you would credit with a strong belief in chivalry really then.

Is Morte D'Arthur a reflection on the demise of chivalry apparent in his day?  Is it a longing for the past and a resurrection of the true meaning of knighthood?  Is the Holy Grail an allegory for true love?  There was certainly no shortage of romance literature in the medieval period.  Marriages were business and courtly love was an almost sanctioned form of adultery.  Everyone knew it went on and turned a blind eye.  Yet courtly love is exactly what gave rise to the whole concept of chivalry in the first place.

So, it is difficult to reconcile this book and its subject matter to a felon accused of all the above heinous acts.  It has a high moral tone on the conduct of all the Knights of the Round Table and it is liberally peppered with references to courtly love, culminating in the downfall of Camelot throug the alledged adulterous behaviour of Gwenhwyfar and Lancelot.  Yet, was this the real downfall?  Arthur was told of the alleged affairs by Sir Aggravaine and Mordred.  Now, Mordred is a very interesting character.  It is alleged that Mordred was in actual fact Arthur's incestuously conceived son on his sister Morgana le Fey.  Right, well THAT would really make him a great candidate for knightly kingship.  If this is true, you can at least understand that Mordred would be perfectly within his rights to be a tad pissed off about that.  Particularly, as he was unacknowledged as heir by a man who did not have a legitimate heir to succeed him.

That clears up nicely his reason then for going tittle tattling to Arthur about his wife's courtly love affair with the handsome and chivalrous Lance.  Arthur of course already knew about it...he would have had to be BLIND not to!  So, sticking to the letter of the law, he told the gossiping men that he would have to have proof before he did anything about it.  Off they go then to try and trap Lance and Gwen.  They didn't manage to catch them in the act but Lance was in her company and that was enough for them.  Back they go to Arthur, leaving other knights to apprehend Lance, a man with a fearsome reputation who then dispatches them all and disappears into the distance, no doubt out through an arrow slit and down crenellated walls.  Okay, this then leaves Gwen to the mercy of Arthur who, in the face of such continued opposition, has no choice but to order her tied to a stake and burnt (she wasn't a witch, so I'm not sure why this particular punishment was chosen!)  On the Burning Day along comes Lance and rescues her (but of course!), slaying in the process two unarmed knights, brothers of Sir Gawain who had always told Arthur that no good would come of this performance.  Understandably he is put out by this killing of the rest of his family and swears that he will not rest until Lance is 6ft under.

Lance, gallops off into the distance, no doubt on his white charger and in full battle armour with the queen thrown unceremoniously over his saddle pommel.  He takes her to his castle.  Arthur meantime is being advised to stop this bloody nonsense and go get his queen back.  He sheepishly agrees to this and sends an envoy to Lance asking very nicely, could he have his wife back now please.  Lance still the chivalrous chappie agrees and hands her over at Arthur's court.  This has not gone down well with either Mordred or Gawain.  When Lance leaves to return to his castle Arthur is persuaded to go after him as he has committed a slur upon the king's person by having it away with his wife!  Arthur stupidly agrees to this and he and the troublemakers trundle off to Joyous Guard (Lance's no doubt little pad!) and Gawain demands he fights with him, which Lance doesn't want to do because of their long term friendship...this goes on for a while with the protagonists going...oh yes you will, oh no I wont etc.  Anyway, enough insults later, Lance agrees and flattens Gawain...Gawain goes off to lick his wounds and then comes back for more...Lance repeats the flattening and Gawain takes longer to heal this time.  Meanwhile, Mordred is sticking his poison in whatever ears are listening and ultimately this culminates in the final battle between Mordred and his dad...in full view of an agog audience...both are struck mortal blows...Excalibur gets lied about three times and then eventually gets chucked in the river...hand grab and manic laughter (apparently!).  Happy that Excalibur has returned home, Arthur breathes his last and is collected by Morgana le Fey  to Isle of Avalon, where he will once again rise when he is in need.  Distraught at the death of Arthur, Gwen gets herself to a nunnery and Lance goes all celibate on us at a monastery.  The castle is named Dolourous Guard in honour of these events.  The End.

It is the writer's 'umble opinion that this does not show Arthur in a particularly good light...incestuous rapist, weak and easily led.  Cracking choice to rule Britain.  In fairness Malory says that Arthur was a great fighter and a fair man...so, more brawn than brains then?  The Morte D'Arthur as a compilation is great and Malory has done a fantastic job at putting all the random Arthur stories into some semblence of order but really...makes you wonder why everyone thought Arthur was so great.

So...why did Malory write about Arthur, chivalry and courtly love?  Yes, that is indeed the question.

Answers anyone?

...took a while but I got there in the end.

PLATO, PHAEDRUS c. 380 BCE (how could I forget Plato?)

said...

"If men learn writing, it will implant forgetfulness in their souls; they will cease to exercise memory because they rely on that which is written, calling things to rememberence, no longer from within themselves but by means of external marks; what you have discovered is a recipe, not for memory but for reminder..." 

Hmmm!

Now, if I were a Druid I would comprehend that remark totally as those guys allegedly had phenomenal memories, knowing whole clans and their entire ancestry...however, as a 'bit' of a writer himself, I'm not entirely sure what Plato is getting at!

Still, who am I to question one of the great classic chappies...um, I do believe I have finished the above paragraph on a preposition - bugger!  Oh well, perhaps a little 'reminder' is what I need so that I will not again do it!  Heh, heh.

It was nice having this little digression but I feel a metaphorical whip wind behind me so best get on with Sir Thomas Malory and Morte D'Arthur for the young minds next week...wish I could find an angle that engages them through their own experiences!  I'm sure light will dawn as I trawl internet information highways.

Bye all xxx  

...on assignments...tired now...miss you all

Night night all and may your gods be with you xxx

Hello everyone...only notes to self here today I'm afraid...very boring for you all.  Still, it's good to be self indulgent once in a while I feel!  *tongue firmly in cheek*

So, whilst listening to lute and guitar music of the medieval variety, lulling my iguana to sleep and also the two cats...I shall write some thoughts on my PGCE...you can all switch off now...really, it is very boring!

Which is probably why I am having problems with it.  It's not so much that I don't want to be a teacher...I just didn't want to be a psychologist.  I never knew there were so many things to take into consideration!  I knew already that not everyone learns in the same way.  I also know that there is large amounts of research out there that discusses this in large amounts but ultimately - define learning!

It's nebulous isn't it?  It has no borders, boundaries or definitive anything really.  It is a concept and it is a concept that I am asked to measure to establish whether the student has learnt anything or not!  I am supposed to do this by formative and summative assessment.  Very good I think and then I realise...don't we do that already?  Well, yes, I guess we do if you consider essays and projects during term time as formative and exams at the end of the year summative.

However, studies show that these methods currently don't work.  Really, I think to myself but I am unsurprised.  I know I am absolutely rubbish at having to write an essay to a timescale.  It does not allow me to phrase sentences and get my facts absolutely spot on.  I tend to blurt in exam essays...it all comes out in incoherent lumps, tenuously tied together by short bursts of randomised coherence more akin to a Gordian knot than a logical process of well thought out prose!  Nope, I am absolute rubbish at exams.  Now, give me a project then I can get my teeth into it - no problem.  Ask and I shall research and will enjoy it.  Yet we all know, some lunatics prefer exams.  So, there you have it.  It appears that it is the more logical mind that prefers exams.  Those who learn formula like maths, science and engineering - less room for speculative error I suppose and also, I can't imagine what a maths project would look like somehow - but that is because I have come to the conclusion that I am dyscalculus (if there is any such thing!)  I see numbers and it's like a hare to a greyhound.  I'm off as if the devil himself was after me!!!

I can add, subtract, multiply and divide - the problem is that I often can't differentiate between 8, 5 and 3 without really concentrating.  Yet, I loved geometry and logs, sines and cosines in school - go figure.  I also understood binary but now, nope...scares the hell out of me.  Still, there are some people who are dyslexic and frankly, I would rather be number dyslexic than word dyslexic - the thought of not being able to read is far more scary than not being able to add - but that's just me.

So the Assignments...1.  The Design of Learning.  Design a 10 week course including scheme of work.  Include learning objectives, teaching and learning strategies, resources required, assessment and evaluation techniques.  Include indicative reading.  2.  Assessment and Evaluation.  Devise an assessment tool for both summative and formative assessment.  Presented in a form that would be handed to student, you should also include relevant marking schemes.  Lastly, analyse the major features and provide feedback to student, this last to be in the form of a mini-essay!  3.  Peer review of journals and an analysis on teaching practice, what I have learnt and how I will implement any changes in the future.  Right-o then!

Being an ever practical human being and a lazy bitch to boot, I am going to use the same courses that I used for my first assignment for which I got a merit (must be doing SOMETHING right!)  I shall expand upon them and figure out assessment, which I didn't have to do before - only design a scheme of work and lesson plans.  Nevertheless, I am a firm believer in recycling and reusing!!

For the first one, I have trawled large amounts of Uni sites to see if I can figure out what they do to sell their courses to prospective students.  I figured that's the sort of thing they are looking for.  All my teacher friends in blogland, do please tell me if I vastly barking up the wrong tree am!  For 2 I am going to use the age old year project and exam weighting scenario.  I shall explain it in words of one syllable, as apparently research shows that even though it is explained in great detail in course books and essay handouts, students still don't get the idea of assessment and furthermore, I am now wondering if I do either!!

The third is more difficult because I am not having my teaching assessment until practically the end of term, in fact the last seminar I take at Uni (good grief!).  So I may have to beg an extension on that one as it is due in on May 11th so that will give me oh, lessee, er...the weekend to do it!

Yep, that's about it...oh, along with seminar preparation, trying to find further teaching hours, which involves volunteer work in the larger community (one a project with the National Botanic Gardens in Wales [The Medics of Myddfai - they want me to talk about medieval medicines in the apothecary they have set up], Towy, Afon Yr Oesoedd [Towy a River through Time with the Cambria Archaeological Trust] and Skills Sharing for Transition Town Llandeilo)  and holding down a full time job! *yawns profusely*

Right, that's it, I'm knackered and I'm going to finish off my single glass of wine all evening, shut down the laptop and go to flipping bed with a good book (a damn fine medieval mystery who dun yt?), of which I will probably succeed in only reading one paragraph before I fall ignominiously asleep with book and glasses still on face, as I have a big works meeting to attend tomorrow.  Mine lif, yt is rad sumtimes!

Someone remind me...why I'm doing this?????

Tch!

Goodnight all and may your gods be with you xxx

...bugger innit?

Have been somewhat remiss in my blogging but normal service will be resumed with the onset of reality kicking in after a few days off!

Will also have to crack on and do some assignments as I have three to hand in and a presentation as soon as I get back to Uni as well.

Will probably do a post on notes to self so nothing to get excited about there.

Have also promised some sparkling wit and repartee to Bushka on learning and memory from one of the classic writers whose name escapes me for the moment but I shall endeavour to post it as soon as I find it in my notes again!

Oh well, time for bed, Zebbedee said.  Florence's reply was unprintable!  (Magic Roundabout for all you out there who didn't get it!)  Well, Jasper Carrot's version anyway!

Night, night all and may your gods be with you xxx