Lonely...so very lonely tonight

I am feeling particularly miserable tonight. I have spent all day today trying to make the house nice and welcoming for my partner, with a beautifully made up table, including candles; to start - avocade and mushrooms, soaked in lemon juice, olive oil and some white wine vinegar, served on a bed of lightly toasted garlic bread; to follow - a meat dinner (I am a veggie, he is not), of roast lamb with thyme and rosemary (from the garden), roast potatoes with a light dusting of paprika, boiled potatoes with fresh parsley (also from the garden), cauliflower and broccoli, lightly spiced then battered and deep fried, old-fashioned gravy made with the lamb juices, flour, potato water and a dash of honey and red wine; home-made fresh fruit salad and honey sweetened riccotta cheese; all served with a nicely chilled rose wine.

All of this has gone to hell because he has had a few drinks and insisted on listening to that most miserable Jim Morrison and the Doors whilst eating. I asked him to change the music and he put on the Woodstock album, full of protest songs about Vietnam. I asked him if we could have something more upbeat, he asked me what I wanted and before I could reply, he played Led Zep, admittedly one of my favourite bands. I said I was not in the mood for rock or metal and he then sarcastically suggested that I might want classical music (which he knows I love), or worse, Welsh harp music (which he knows I adore!) I said I would just like to be able to talk without shouting over the music, I just wanted some background. I said that there must be some mellow music we had in common. He sneered that what I was really saying was that I wanted it all my own way. I walked out of the room to avoid an argument. He shouted and threw things after me.

End result - I'm sitting upstairs alone with just the Iguana and the kitten, he has fallen asleep, bolt upright on the dining room chair with his head back snoring! The food has not been touched.

Sometimes, just once in a while, I would like to be reminded of why I even bother trying.