The Lost Tribe

Hello everyone. Well, you will all no doubt be pleased to know that we finally located the lost tribe and immediately had them re-homed in the Amazon...only to find that they had been re-discovered after all bugger! Let's hope we can leave them alone and not be Schroediger's (sp?!) cats about them. We'll only end up killing them with our vile viruses anyway...so, all you anthropologists out there...leave 'em alone!!!

As I stand at the top of the garden and look down it's 100ft length to the blue hills yonder, I physically have to put my fist in my mouth to stop myself from saying...

I want a shrubbery!!!

Which I don't...but wanting to say it was overwhelming.

I have just read timsuzi's blog and he's come up with 44 things NOT to do before you die...so I'm gonna see if I can make it to 44 as well...

1. Watch Big Brother - too dire and barrel scraping in the name of entertainment with puerile contestants of the Andy Warhole school of fame
2. Watch The Apprentice - as above
3. Watch I'm a Celebrity anything - as above
4. Watch ANY 'real' TV, especially as I don't watch TV anyway, it's crap, please see above
5. Read a Stephen King novel - too wordy even for a writer
6. Jump out of a perfectly good plane with flimsy white sheets attached
7. Climb Everest - I like to breath air not ozone
8. Go to North Pole - brrr
9. Go to South Pole - ditto
10. Do heroin - it's just silly
11. Do crack - so's that
12. Go to a rave - too old for the ecstasy... well, the chemical variety anyways
13. Watch Formula 1 - life's too short but drive one...oh yes
14. Watch golf - ditto
15. Watch snooker - as above
16. Watch cricket - ditto
17. Go horseriding. I respect too much their dislike of me
18. Abseil down a mountain - why'd you climb it in the first place?
19. Abseil down a building - why, if there's a perfectly good lift?
20. Go bungee jumping - I'd break something
21. Hanglide - again I ask, why?
22. Paraglide - ditto
23. Walk barefoot over hot coals - too macho
24. Crawl on broken glass - get cut to ribbons
25. Run up any more debts - hmmm, well, try anyway
26. Eat meat - never
27. Run a marathon in fancy dress of any kind
28. Run a marthon of any kind
29. Cross country running unless it's in a car
30. Let my garden get so bad again
31. Make New Year's resolutions - never keep 'em then guilt sets in
32. Put on more weight
33. Become mainstream religious
34. Pay a TV licence for using my computer or mobile phone - up yours BEEB
35. Get arrested
36. Get a sex-change
37. Get cosmetic surgery - unless I'm in a train wreck or similar
38. Stop buying vinyls - ha, at least while they last
39. Stop buying books - the very thought makes me come out in a cold sweat but not Stephen King books, no no.
40. Stop trying to improve myself - well, mentally anyway
41. Stop being polite - costs nothing and gets me further I find
42. Stop dressing gothic hippy
43. Stop loving those close to me, especially my hippy and my ark
44. Start growing old gracefully *snort*