Hello all,
Well, once again, time is just flying by and it is almost Yule.
We all have our way of celebrating at this time of year and, to me at least it is nice to see the diversity of celebration.
For me...brought up a Protestant in the Church of Wales, I always remember the Nativity Play - the one I most remember was when one of the shepherds fell right off the stage, backwards...into the band area. Typical. All the others I attended and the one that sticks out the most is the one with a slight catastrophe. I wonder if that's really bad of me? At least I do as an adult but as a child it was hilarious! Forgive me.
Anyway, how are you all? I hope that you are all well and that your preperations for the season of overindulgence are going splendidly. I personally have decided that ultimately it is just another day...I can do that you see because I have no children. Also, I have a small, immediate family consisting of mother, brother and nieces. All good for finance! I am restrained given a particular blog I read.
At this time of year, due to redundancy and credit crunch, a home is being repossessed. Season of goodwill towards men? Only if it suits, perhaps. At this time of year, I generally pause to reflect more than is necessary, polite or even advised: nevertheless I do reflect. For those with big families, decent incomes and warm homes, it is a time of getting together and familial enjoyment, always tempered with frustration at being the one to cook the dinner, the aunt that drinks the sherry and falls asleep before dinner, the bickering young children and cousins and the whole forced jollity of it all. Yet, after the event, we all swear blind we enjoyed the whole farce. Deep down, we all know we haven't and the bank balance for January will prove how true that is.
So, I reflect...it is the time of year with the largest suicide numbers...why? My mother, who is slightly disabled due to diabetes, has told me that she will not be coming to me because she cannot climb my steep and narrow stairs. Fair enough but I can do nothing about my stairs, being a structural thing and not as easily dealt with as my tree! If I don't like my tree in a certain place I am perfectly capable of moving it...not so my stairs unfortunately. I understand the problem, I really do but it means I cannot have her here for lunch on Christmas Day. The added problem is that I have no tv and she has come to rely on that insidious device since my father died. I cannot deny either reason. I express concern and then she says...I can stay here, eat what I want when I want, drink what I want and how much I want, watch what I want on the tv when I want and not have to engage in banal pleasantries...what's the problem? Good point and in effect I am with her on that one. So, why do I feel like a failed daughter?
I was brought up with the family thing but, of course, as I have got older, family have become less. Many have fallen by the wayside out of touch and others have remained close but gone their own way. Quite right too I say and, I myself have done it since I moved to France at the tender age of 16. STILL, I feel like a total failure as a daughter. I think it's guilt! Many friends who are Catholic and Jewish have always joking;y told me that they hold the monopoly on guilt. Meh! My partner was brought up Jewish and abandoned it for his own reasons and is now as pagan as I am...SO, now we are both feeling guilty oi vei!
Nevertheless for all that guilt, I cannot help but consider the position of others um...far less fortunate than us. I have no monetary richness but I am richer by far than those with money. I have my health, well being and, for all the distance between us, a very loving if small family. I actually want for nothing. I am admittedly a nightmare to buy presents for. Oh, goody! You'll have to use your imagination instead then. He, he.
My partner and I will say to each other...what do we really need? This is a very big question and we will think about this for days. Periodically passing each other in our individual lives we will ask...have you thought about anything yet? Ultimately, we will always buy something together...something we can both use to our mutual benefit. No clothes, no smellies, no jewellery - we're just not like that. We need clothes all year, we need shampoo and bubble bath and shower gel all year. Neither of us wears jewellery, apart from rings on our fingers where we privately swore much love for each other...mine is a Celtic wedding band in silver, his is a dark opal in a thick, square, silver setting. Don't get me wrong, I also have pierced ears and belly button but these are things I choose for myself!
So basically, after a long and rambling blog...much aided by a glass or four of a particularly nice rose, I consider myself fortunate...I have no savings to be worried by falling interest rates. Nor do I have that particularly British obsession of desperately needing to own my own home - given half the chance I would live up a mountain in a Yurt (as long as it had seperate rooms) with gray water, reed bed filtration systems, humanure toilets (but only veggies can use it - meat eaters have to go use the nearest public lav!!!!!) and wind power for my 'leccy if I could - but I can't so labouring the point is er...pointless! So again I worry not about the falling interest rates,
What I guess I'm trying to say is that, to those of you who are suffering genuine hardship, I send you my most earnest good wishes. There is so much help available out there if you are not too proud to ask. I suspect women find it easier to ask for assistance - for an example see...men driving...lost...asking for directions hmmm! Every cloud genuinely has a silver lining...just look for the positive...there is ALWAYS one. In my own inimitable, rambling, procrastinating fashion, I have kind of dedicated this blog to the blog I read. I hope they know who they are. My thoughts are with you at this time of year.
Nil illigitemi carborundem...(vaguely!) don't let the bastards grind you down!
Blessed be all and apologies for rambling (hic) typing!
xxx
