....SPAM!!

I have just spent the last 20 minutes removing canned pork luncheon meat from my google mail account.  Now, I don't mind doing this (much!) but it goes straight into a spam folder which comes as standard.  So, if it's intelligent enough to know it's spam...why doesn't it just delete it for me and save me the hassle of doing it myself??  Hmm?

Out of curiosity and, in an effort to ensure that I haven't deleted anything from my students, I went through them most meticulously.  I had 398 spam messages and, when you think I was only in it yesterday...well, you can see why I'm a tad irritated!

So, I courageously went through them - 148 of them were from someone selling me Viagra...ah but, of those 148 no two names were identical - damn but there's a lot of Viagra out there!  Then, we move on to someone selling me degrees for AMERICAN Universities...what?  We then move swiftly on to FAKE, yes FAKE Rolex and Cartier watches...my watch cost six quid in a market and it works just fine thanks.  It's got as much bling as I need and I have no idea who made it...not that Cartier probably make their own anyways...they just shove in diamonds at mid/day/night, 3, 6 and 9 - but of course that's only if your really rich...otherwise I think you get it over the 'i' in Cartier or sumfink!  Dunno, never seen one, let alone worn one - be too scared of getting mugged...or worse!

Then, my credit rating...haven't got one...have no loans you see or credit cards either...effectively I do not exist except in cyberverse.  Fine by me.  Still, they want me to find out how I'm doing, who's checking up on me and why...well, no-one should be and why they would is beyond me.  Okay, the next ones were diet pills, again in vast quantities...I would ask what they were implying but no response is often the most apt reply.  In lesser quantities then were B & Q, Argos, Amazon and someone else whose name I forget.

Now, forgetting for just one moment that I am female, so the point of Viagra is completely lost on me; and forgetting for a moment that diet pills DON'T BLOODY WORK anyway; and then buying an online degree from a USA University - if I'd wanted one I'd have gone there and earned it; and forgetting that I am a tramp who is about as interested in designer anything (or crazy enough to want a facsimile thereof) as a bin bag and who therefore does not need loans and credit cards to purchase these designer/fake items, so need for credit checking...can I just ask this...WHY?????????????????  How do they get my email addresses and why do I only get spam on google????  Eh?  Can somebody please use these little nanobots for target practice?  If the bots on google know it's spam enough to put it in the appropriate folder, why can't the bloody thing just delete? Can I set up a forcefield that omits anything with the words viagra, oh - I forgot the penis englargement - damn, how could I forget something like that...I just remembered er...so yes the words viagra, penis, diet, degree, credit and watches.
Think it will work?

I say again, grrrrrrrrrr